From a work standpoint, I left unexpectedly. I didn't prepare my kids and I was definetly not prepared. Luckily I had a long term sub already arranged, so she picked right up and took care of things, but still, I wasn't prepared. So I am not sure what I will be walking back in to. My kids take their state reading test in a few weeks and I have not been there to get them ready. So that should be interesting.
From a logistical standpoint, I am already nervous about getting two babies and myself, out of the door by 6:40 every morning. I know it can be done, I just have to find a routine that works for us. Let me say that up until now, my track record for packing them both up and getting where we need to be on time....well, it's less than stellar. I just need more practice. Unfortunately, I am out of time to practice. And let's not even get into the fact that Matthew still likes to party around 1:45, 4:45 and 5:30 am.
From a Mommy standpoint, I am not ready. I honestly feel as though I haven't had enough time with this sweet little boy. We have such a wonderful routine right now. He is doing so well. He naps like a champ, eats like a champ, plays like a champ. He loves going for walks outside, walking around the mall, laying on the floor and playing, watching me work in the kitchen. He loves to watch Jonathan when he is playing close by....things are just so...good. I am not ready to give these days up. I am 100% not ready to send him to a babysitter I hardly know. I could go on and on, but it makes my heart hurt.
And then there is this:
Monday morning we woke up and I loaded the boys into the car to take Jonathan to school. I noticed there was quite a bit of running water coming from behind our back gate, so I went to investigate. This led me to a pipe gushing water out of our house. A frantic phone call to my Dad led me to the attic to check the water heater. Bingo. That puppy bit the dust (after 20 years though...let's give it some credit for a job well done) and flooded our guest room, hallway and Jonathan's closet. Please don't ask how I didn't notice any of this in the middle of the night while I was up walking around with Matthew. Or in the morning. So...the water restoration guys have taken away the wet carpet, ripped holes in the ceiling to take out the wet insulation, and removed all the wet base boards and door casings. Right now everything is drying out. Once that is done, they will have to come in and rebuild the walls and ceiling in the guest room and install new carpet and base boards. These pictures honestly don't do the chaos justice. We have 10 fans, a de-humidifier and an "air scrubber" hanging out in our rooms and hallways right now. There are dark brown stains on my walls and ceililng (that apparently were not wet enough to cut open...interesting)....it is all just a big, gross, mess. I am telling this story only because it is one more reason I don't want to go back to work next week. I feel like I need to be here to make sure things are being done to my satisfaction!
So that is that. I am sure you will say I am just being over-dramatic. Millions of mothers out there have to send their babies to day care. Millions of mothers work. I get that. And in a few weeks, I am sure it will get easier. But for now, with my return looming like a grey cloud, it is not easy. And like I said above, it makes my heart hurt. Would you want to leave this little guy all day long? How am I supposed to kiss those puffy little cheeks while I am at school!? Sigh.....
For what it's worth, I don't think you are being over-dramatic at all... each of those things (going back to work, the flood, etc.) by themselves are BIG things, and the combination would probably send me to a crazy home! Hope your first week back goes as smoothly as possible - you can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteOh Katy,
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for ya'll. You are definitely a trooper. I would be nuts.