My kids are just fine, thank you.

Lately I have been noticing that I am too hard on my kids and myself as a Mommy when we are out in public. I am very quick to say "Ugh, we are just out of control!" or "Man, this is why we never go anywhere!" when things get a little hairy. I feel like as soon as Matthew starts fussing or Jonathan throws a piece of food (or any other small and annoyingly difficult thing to clean up...) every Mom in the room starts to watch and judge. In my head, they go home and tell their friends how Katy Ley can't control her kids. They tell their husbands how they hate hanging out with us because we are so chaotic and out of control. Our friends that come to our house must leave with a headache and thank the Lord on their way home for giving them the perfect kids. I find myself constantly apologizing for my boys when we are out to eat or at a friend's house. Even when my friend Sara and I go walking, I feel the need to say I am sorry all the time because Matthew is crying (oh how I wish he would learn to love his carseat/stroller.)

But you know what? My kids are amazing.

And I need to chill the crap out.

Yes, Matthew cries. Yes, Jonathan sometimes throws food. 99% of the time, I forgot something important and have to scramble to figure out what I will do. I am usually late. I usually smell like baby spit up. Jonathan usually has something on his face. At some point during our outing, one of them will most likely bust out of their diaper.

But who cares? I know, deep in my heart, that my friends sure don't care. My friends do not walk away from us shaking their heads in disbelief. Most likely, they are dealing with the EXACT.SAME.THING. And the only thing that my apologizing does, is make me look silly. So my goal this summer, while I am out and about with the boys a whole lot more, is to chill out. To enjoy the moments and not be embarassed by them. To be calm and collected when things go awry and not create a whole mess of chaos because of my attitude. And most importantly, to look at my boys and appreciate them for who they are and the crazy things they do.

(And for those that do want to judge me....go ahead. But know that I think you are a jerk face and I don't want my crazy kids hanging out with your perfect kids anyway. So there.)