This picture is the best possible description of how I feel this morning....Poor little Matthew....
Now I know this title might lead you to believe that I actually lost my cool and did something ridiculous yet equally hilarious, but unfortunately for you, that is not the case. This is in fact, a story about learning to relinquish control and not whine and cry about it. Well let's be honest and say learn to relinquish control and only cry and whine an acceptable amount.
Let me start by saying I am pretty OCD about certain things. I try to keep myself on a schedule and my boys are on their own schedule. I try to keep my house as clutter free and clean as possible and everything has it's own place. Basically, I like to keep my life organized and in order. However, the last 24 hours have tested my ability to maintain control.
A few weeks ago, I noticed that our kitchen faucet was being finicky. It would leak sometimes, sputter sometimes, leak weird black goo sometimes. Even the little sprayer on the side started leaking. And yet, we ignored it, hoping it would get better and we wouldn't have to drop money on a new one. (If there is anything I am better at than being organized and in control, it's being a huge cheap-o) As you can guess, it didn't get better and on Monday night I discovered that the leaky faucet was causing considerable damage under the sink. So Tuesday afternoon I left school early and went to Lowes before picking up the boys (because you know, nothing screams "fun!" like standing in the aisle staring at faucets while your two babies scream in the basket....) I rushed to make a decision (I had about 10 minutes) and then rushed to pick up Matthew. I fed him quickly and then rushed to pick up Jonathan. Once we were all reunited, we went to Sam's to pick up Zack's prescription. And as a side note...Sam's is the cheapest pharmacy around, but could they be any more inconvenient? You have to unload the kids, haul them through this massive store, stand in a line that is guaranteed to be at least 4 people long and then trek back to the front of the store, stand in another line to have the receipt lady check your purchases and then brave the crazy busy parking lot to get back in the car. Seriously....inconvenient. But I digress...We got home and (of course) Jonathan refused to eat dinner, then refused to come inside after playing in the front yard. He is in this new fun stage where he doesn't want to do anything that isn't his idea originally. Finally Zack's parents arrived to help Zack install the faucet. And here is where my ability to maintain control starts to really get tested....As Sue and I were getting the kids bathed and in bed (we have a schedule here people!) Zack and his Dad were essentially destroying my kitchen. Everything from under the sink was now on the counters (right next to Matthew's clean bottles..grrrrr....) and the sink was out of commission. I had to wash out milk cups and bottles in the bathroom sink and there was trash all over the floor. In less than 5 minutes, my clean, organized house turned into this...
And honestly, this picture doesn't do justice to the crazy (there was no way I was going to sleep with trash all over the floor, so it had to be picked up last night!) At this point, let's just say that the sink is installed now (although it is crooked and will need to be fixed in the next few days....because you know I would never be able to live with that....) but my kitchen still looks like this. It actually gave me a little eye twitch to walk out of the house this morning knowing that I had this crazy mess to come home to.
Now...The reason it is still like that and the reason I didn't take care of the mess this morning can be blamed on this little guy....
My good little sleeper slept all night! He has been doing this for about two weeks now and typically wakes up around 5:45-6:15. This schedule is great because it allows me to get ready for the day before he wakes up. Sometimes I can even get Jonathan up and ready before he wakes up, allowing me to spend some good one on one time with Jonathan first. Obviously this is a huge deal and I am thrilled and in no way complaining, BUT.....this morning he decided to wake up literally the second I got in the shower at 5:00. I had just started washing my hair when I looked at the monitor and realized he was screaming his head off. (I am always amazed how he can go from sleeping little angel to a little red hot tamale screaming his head off so quickly...) So I jumped out, dried off and went to feed him. To my dismay, I noticed quickly that he was pulling "The Refusal" on me. You can read more about that in this post from a few weeks ago. He had no intention of going back to sleep and letting me finish getting ready for the day. So I put him in the bouncy seat and attempted shower #2. By this time it was almost 6:00 and I was totally off schedule. I didn't have time to fix my hair, so I had to throw it up wet, slap on some makeup and accept that I would look a little like a wet rat today. Whatever. The rest of the morning went pretty much the same. Jonathan was cranky and mad because I wouldn't pick him up and put Matthew in the car seat at the same time. Then Matthew started to get a little cranky because by 6:30, he was ready for a nap (only a baby is ready for his first nap of the day at 6:30 AM...) and I was cranky because I was off my schedule and looked like a wet rat.
You still with me? My whole point in recounting my entire last 24 hours is to say that I have had to fight tooth and nail but ultimately lose the battle to hold onto control of the situation give up control. I couldn't control that the sink broke. I couldn't control that Matthew chose to wake up at a random time this morning and throw his entire schedule (and ours in the process...) down the drain (along with the black goo leaking from the faucet!....see what I did there?) and I can't control that my house is is disarray. I have to start learning that things like this will happen. Especially with two small kids and two full time working parents. I have to realize that even though my house looks crazy, I look crazy, and we are all crazy tired from rushing around to run errands and make pick up deadlines...we are all okay. We are safe, healthy and blessed. I feel like the Lord has been trying to teach me this over and over and I always try to listen and learn, but I never do. And this probably won't be the last time He teaches me that it is okay to lose control, but for now, I am learning.
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