Oh Snap...

You know when you have one of those ideas where you think, "For real, this is the greatest idea I have ever come up with. There is NO way this could go wrong." And then, about 2 minutes in, you think, "Oh holy freaking crap. How did this go so wrong??"

I did that tonight.

I will state, for the record, that my Mom is here and we came up with the idea together. So she gets to share the blame.

Let me explain....

It begins with the fact that I haven't washed the windows on the back of my house in like, 5 years. They were pretty awful. Like, you couldn't see out because the spider webs and mud dobbers were too thick. So, my mom and I decided to clean them...with the kids around....about 45 minutes before bedtime. "They'll have so much fun," we said. "They will LOVE spraying the windows with water," we said. "This will make a fun memory," we said. And I guess, at the end of it all, those were all true statements. For them.

6:45-Take the screens off the windows and give Jonathan control of the water hose. 

6:46-Jonathan attempts to drown Matthew by spraying the water directly into his open mouth.

6:47-Take the water away from Jonathan. Screaming and tantrum throwing ensues.

6:52-Get back to actually washing the windows.

6:53-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap.

6:54-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again.

6:55-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again. Take bucket and hide it.

7:00-Finish the first window, look over to see Jonathan dumping a huge bucket of sand on Matthew's head. (Matthew's hair is now completely matted down on his head.)

7:01-Jonathan in time out.

7:04-Jonathan, out of time out, dumps huge bucket of sand out of the sand box and into the mulch.

7:05-Jonathan in time out. (The kid KNOWS that sand stays in the sand box!!)

7:06-Matthew finds the bucket. Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again.

7:07-I see a wasp, scream like a baby, scare kids, Mom yells at me for being stupid.

7:08-Finish second window.

7:09-Realize second window wasn't actually shut all the way. Flood. (Does this count as cleaning the windows from the inside?)

7:10-Matthew and Jonathan scream bloody murder over control of the water hose.

7:11-Mom asks (for the first time) "whose idea was this?"

7:12-Jonathan dumps sand down the back of Matthew's diaper.

7:13-Jonathan in time out. Again.

7:14-I take off Matthew's diaper. Oh snap, there is poop in it. 

7:15-I attempt to spray Matthew down with the water....Oh holy crap, somehow, the poop sloshed out of his booty and onto my leg. GrossGrossGross.

7:16- Mom asks (for the second time) "whose idea was this?"

7:20-Finish third window and call it for the night.

7:21-Spray the boys down....get all the sand out of Matthew's hair and the poop out of his booty. 

7:22-Everybody is clean. Put the fear of God in Jonathan not to touch the water again.

7:23-Matthew body slams himself into the playground mulch. Totally dirty again. (Don't worry, I made sure the leaf covered the important parts....)

7:24-Jonathan sprays water everywhere. 

7:25- Mom asks (for the third time) "whose idea was this?"

7:26- I say, "screw it all!" and take them inside and straight into the bathtub.

7:40-Find mulch under Matthew's neck rolls. 

And that's that. We tried. 

Confessions of a Crazy Woman.

These confessions are actually pretty legit. As in, some are actually pretty embarrassing or scary to admit. Hopefully I am not alone though....

1. Holding this beautiful baby girl tonight was almost, ALMOST, enough to make me want another little one. I am pretty much terrified of the idea of having another baby, but I can't deny the little tug on my heart when I walked past the newborn nursery and saw those precious babies. And then hugging on this one for half an hour.....y'all, it almost did me in. 

2. Matthew threw a serious temper tantrum at Freebirds tonight when I refused to give him a cookie. There was screaming, crying and even milk cup throwing. I took him outside and let him roll around on the sidewalk screaming for a while. And then....I gave in. That kid got himself a cookie and ate it for dinner. (It was such an awful tantrum that when I went to the cashier to buy the cookie, she just waved me on and gave it to me for free. She didn't even say a word.....just gave me the "oh girl, just get out of here" face....)

2. Last night, the "Shaving Cream Monster" came and attacked the boys during bath time. I then proceeded to let them play in the tub for nearly 40 minutes. The water was cold, they were way past wrinkly, and I just sat there with a glazed over look on my face, begging for Zack to get home and entertain them. 

4. I gave myself a pat on the back for not eating a third serving of cake the other night. My sense of moderation is so bad right now, that I honestly felt great about myself for only eating 2 desserts. First dessert, small piece of cake. Second dessert (30 minutes later) large piece of cake. But hey....I didn't have a third. So bam.

5. I spent the majority of the day Monday waiting for the announcement about the royal baby....and I loved every minute of it. Oh, and IF I ever have another baby, it's birth will be announced by town crier. 

6. Matthew rocked these boots all day Monday. Like, in public. And I just let him.

 

7. When I went to the gym Monday morning, the lady in the child care room commented that she hadn't seen us lately.....I lied and told her we had been coming in the afternoon. (Only then did I remember that she looked at the sign in sheets every day.....snap.)

8. We currently have 81 episodes of The Office recorded on our DVR and I guarantee we have seen them each 2 times or more.

9. Lately, the boys have decided that it is a new family tradition to eat donuts at the grocery store. Since we most often do our big shopping trip on Sunday morning before church, that means they get donuts for breakfast. Two weeks ago, I made the mistake of getting them dressed for church and THEN gave them the donut. Obviously, this was stupid. They were covered in sugar and chocolate and I had to change them again before church (into their non-ironed back up clothes.) So this week, I got smart. Both of my children sported their monkey jammies while we shopped. I always judged people that did that.....I mean seriously, just put clothes on your kids. But now, it makes perfect sense. So judge away.

Hope y'all are having a wonderful, perfect week.....free from situations that you would need to confess later....

My Kids are Spoiled.

So, you know last weekend when we took the boys to the lake for the day? And they had the greatest day ever? That was awesome. But on Monday, their Aunt Katie came to visit...and things went from awesome to absolutely super tremendously fantastic. For the last 7 days, my kids have been having fun like 20 hours out of their day (I say 20 hours because they are actually waking up earlier than normal....I guess they don't want to miss one second with Aunt Katie....) For the last week, we have been gallivanting all over the greater Houston area in search of fun. We had dinner with Nana, Grandfather and Katie every single night this week. We ate pizza, fast food, cupcakes, ice cream....you name it, we have splurged on it. (The kids love this...my waist line doesn't.) My boys have had, seriously, the greatest week of their lives I think. Unfortunately, Katie leaves on Monday and with her, the promise of days filled with family and fun. They are going to be so bored, and totally bummed, when they realize it's just me and them again. And now, a quick recap of our awesomeness....

The boys both LOVED the Downtown Aquarium! 

Bowling with Aunt Katie! (For the record...I won the game. And yes, I consider winning against my 3 year old, a total success.)

The Children's Museum

Doing a little work at the "UPS Store" 

I always knew they loved the grocery store....never thought I would actually see them working there....

My boys are becoming quite the beach goers....they LOVE the water!

Spending LOTS of time hanging out at Nana and Grandfather's house! (And no, I don't typically let my son just lay there and watch TV at point blank range....and no, he doesn't typically watch Wii Bowling.)

Not pictured:

A trip to the airport for Jonathan to pick Aunt Katie up and see the airplanes

Chuck E. Cheese

2 trips to the mall

Fuddruckers (one of Jonathan's favorites)

A couple of "jungle safari's" through the house

A few car races in the hallway

Baseball in the backyard

(Not to mention 2 full days of school!)

We sure do love you Aunt Katie! Thank you for a super fun week. And you better move here soon. If you don't, you will literally crush your two nephews and they will never love you again.

Just kidding. Kind of.

These Are The Days You'll Remember.....

"These are days you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you"
-10,000 Maniacs

(This song is such a throw back to my camp days at Echo Valley-LLYC.....I can remember totally rocking out in my cabin while we got ready for the day...THOSE are more memories I will never forget!) 

Life is so, so sweet right now. The boys are having such an amazing time exploring and learning new things, enjoying friends and family, playing with each other and just learning to live life. Yesterday was one of those days that will serve as a special family memory for years to come....We were blessed to be invited back to our friends lake house for the Second Annual Lake Bash! There was boat riding, easy skiing, swimming on the deck, watermelon eating, Frisbee throwing, sand box sitting, hammock napping and lots of friend time. It was the perfect summer day and I am so grateful to our dear friends for including my family in this fun tradition! 

Just let me complain...

First off, I didn't have a bad day (it was actually pretty fun!) and I am not in a bad mood (happily sitting on the couch stuffing an ice cream sandwich in my face.) Sometimes a girl just needs to get a few things off her chest and what is a blog good for if you can't complain on it?? And no Mom, I don't have a chip on my shoulder.

Here are just a few things that have been irritating the mess out of me lately....

1. When Jonathan asks me questions that I can't figure out the answer to. Last night, he wanted to know what Independence Day was and why we celebrate it. I think my answer came out something like, "well, it is the day we were given the chance to do whatever we want." Probably could have worded that differently....He also wanted to know about fireworks...."It's sparkly fire. Don't touch it." 
2. Did y'all know that spots of skin that have eczema don't tan? Seeing as I have a million spots with eczema (which is a complaint in and of itself,) I am learning this lesson big time this summer. I am finally rockin' a pretty good tan this season.....if it weren't for the multiple coin sized spots of albino-awesomeness all over my legs and arms.
3. When somebody (who shall remain nameless, lest I sound like a "nagging" wife.....insert eye roll here) uses the proverbial "we" when saying something needs to be done differently with the kids. For example, "we need to stop letting Jonathan watch so much TV." Well friend, seeing as I am his primary caregiver and he is under my care 99.9% of the day, I suppose you really mean that I should stop letting him watch so much TV. Thank you for making that observation when you have absolutely no idea what we do all day long or how much TV they watch. And for the record, they don't watch too much. 
4. When I slave over my crock-pot all day and the same nameless person comes home and calls it"glop." Rude. Make your own dinner tomorrow.
5. Calories. Calories irritate the mess out of me.
6. Finally, and this is a doozie, when people let their super old kids play on an indoor playground. First off, why in the world does a 12 year old even want to play on a mall playground? Shouldn't they be out shopping and being generally obnoxious? (After teaching middle school for 7 years, I earned the right to say that...) And second, where are their parents?! Do they not realize their kid is trampling over little kids?! UGH, this one makes me flustered just typing about it.

And there you go...the things that make me grind my teeth a little more than normal. Luckily, I have two pretty awesome kids who make these annoying things less annoying....most of the time. During the times they don't, I just lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower so I can't hear them knocking on the door. 

I kid, I kid.....

Why summer is amazing....

Summer is the best.

My kids don't sleep in any later, therefore I don't....and that's okay.

It's hotter than the surface of the sun outside....and that's okay.

We are in summer school, which means less time for tomfoolery around the house...and that's okay.

Because, it is only the end of June and we have already done all of this.....

Lots of swimming

Hanging out with our best buddies

Lots of cuddling in the laps of special family members

Attended a beautiful wedding

Lots of hanging around at the zoo

First day of summer school/camp

First backpack

Swimming lessons

Lots of running through the sprinklers

Special airplane rides (this was on the way home....when I wasn't sick and didn't want to die

Lots of napping

Lots of watering (the golf course...)

And lots of special brother time! 

Not exactly the vacation I was looking forward to.....

So, my crew flew up to Ohio last week, to spend some time with our pretty awesome extended family. Zack  is blessed to have 3 of his grandparents still living, and all within a few miles of each other. Not to mention like a million cousins and their kids. To say I was looking forward to this trip would be a very BIG understatement. I was so excited for the boys to ride on an airplane, for the family to meet Matthew for the first time, for the boys to run through the super soft Ohio grass and catch lightning bugs and....you know, just enjoy life together.

And while we did enjoy our family and the boys did ride on an airplane, that was about the only stuff that went according to plan. The rest was pretty much ridiculous. So much so, that I have to go through it in bullet points.....

• The night before we were to leave, I got a low grade fever and sore throat. Then Matthew woke up at 4:45 am and never went back to sleep. I knew then that things would not be going smoothly..
• On Thursday, I still felt awful, still had fever, but toughed it out anyway and decided to go. The whole way to the airport, I knew I was going to throw up, but I was in denial and able to control myself. Literally, the SECOND Zack put the car in park at the park and ride, I opened the door and threw up in the parking garage...I was okay until we went through security where I almost passed out and had to sit on the floor in line. Could that be any more nasty? Sitting on the floor at the airport? Then I had tell the very nice man that was replacing the garbage bag on the trash can, that I was about to barf in it....he kindly moved out of my way, let me do my business and then gave me an extra trash bag to carry around. And carry it around, I sure did. In the airport, on the plane, in the car on the way to the house....
• On the plane, Matthew screamed for 45 minutes straight....like, full blown screaming. Our flight was stuck on the runway for that long and he was NOT cool with it. Since I was potentially very contagious, I sat against the window and tried my hardest to fall asleep while Zack put on his Super Dad cape and took care of our screaming child. Then on the landing, the weather was so bad and foggy that our super not awesome pilot got too close to another plane and had to back off and keep flying for a little while....not cool. At this point, I thought my ears were going to burst out of my eye balls. I figured something was seriously wrong with my head.... Note to self.....NEVER fly with an ear infection.
• We finally made it to Ohio and I went straight to bed. As far as the rest of my family....They were headed to a scheduled family picnic at a local park. Sounds awesome right? Not when it is 55 degrees outside and pouring down rain. Not sure why they didn't cancel it, but after about an hour, the whole family was home and freezing cold. We actually had a fire in the fire place....in June.
• Friday I woke up and realized I needed a doctor....Urgent Care, ER, I didn't care. My Uncle Randy chanced my germs and drove me to a CVS Rediclinic, where it was determined that I had a double ear infection, dehydration and a swollen throat (possible strep, but they decided the antibiotics would kill it if it was, so they didn't test) 
• I spent the entire day on Grams' couch while my family went out and played. It was still raining...
• Saturday, I felt better, so I was finally able to see some more family! It was still cold, but not raining, so we took the boys to a local park to play....where it was discovered that Jonathan had fever. Awesome.
• Saturday night was a family wedding, which was absolutely beautiful! Praise the Lord for stopping the rain and bringing out the sun! However, when I drove the 30 minutes home to pick up the boys and take them to bed, we realized we didn't have a house key. So we waited an hour while my sister and her boyfriend drove back to the wedding to find somebody with a key. The poor boys didn't get to sleep until almost 10:00.
• Sunday, my Uncle Doug was preaching at a large church in Akron, but since Jonathan was still feverish, I couldn't go. Major bummer. 
• Sunday night, Jonathan accidentally got a double full dose of Motrin (even longer story) so I freaked out and waited 45 minutes for the on call doctor to call me back and tell me if he was going to live or if we needed to pump his stomach.......(kind of kidding, but I was concerned enough to call) "He is fine. Just don't ever do it again, slap on the wrist."
• Around this time, I spilled the remainder of Matthew's pink ammoxicilian on Grams' white carpet. (shhh...she doesn't know...) praise God, I got it out. I would have been in serious trouble! But this just meant I had to call for a new prescription to get the rest of the medicine I needed to finish the treatment. Embarrassing. This was like my 3rd call to Bluefish over the weekend.
• On Monday, all went well. We all felt better, got Matthew's medication, made it to the airport in time...life was good. Until I helped my sister-in-law, Becky, into the restroom.....the MENS restroom. Yes, I helped send my mentally handicapped sister into the mens restroom. Thankfully, a nice man helped her out.

If you are still with me, thanks :) I honestly had a great time, once I felt better. And I am blessed to have been sick there since people where around to help with the boys and I could rest. My Grandma's both went out of their way to make sure I was well taken care of! But, I am really sad that I didn't get to visit with my family more, that the weather wasn't conducive to playing in the soft grass, that Matthew didn't seem to enjoy the airplane....but, what can you do? I was still blessed to go and I am even more blessed to have married into such a wonderful family!!