Oh Snap...

You know when you have one of those ideas where you think, "For real, this is the greatest idea I have ever come up with. There is NO way this could go wrong." And then, about 2 minutes in, you think, "Oh holy freaking crap. How did this go so wrong??"

I did that tonight.

I will state, for the record, that my Mom is here and we came up with the idea together. So she gets to share the blame.

Let me explain....

It begins with the fact that I haven't washed the windows on the back of my house in like, 5 years. They were pretty awful. Like, you couldn't see out because the spider webs and mud dobbers were too thick. So, my mom and I decided to clean them...with the kids around....about 45 minutes before bedtime. "They'll have so much fun," we said. "They will LOVE spraying the windows with water," we said. "This will make a fun memory," we said. And I guess, at the end of it all, those were all true statements. For them.

6:45-Take the screens off the windows and give Jonathan control of the water hose. 

6:46-Jonathan attempts to drown Matthew by spraying the water directly into his open mouth.

6:47-Take the water away from Jonathan. Screaming and tantrum throwing ensues.

6:52-Get back to actually washing the windows.

6:53-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap.

6:54-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again.

6:55-Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again. Take bucket and hide it.

7:00-Finish the first window, look over to see Jonathan dumping a huge bucket of sand on Matthew's head. (Matthew's hair is now completely matted down on his head.)

7:01-Jonathan in time out.

7:04-Jonathan, out of time out, dumps huge bucket of sand out of the sand box and into the mulch.

7:05-Jonathan in time out. (The kid KNOWS that sand stays in the sand box!!)

7:06-Matthew finds the bucket. Matthew dumps out the bucket of water and soap. Again.

7:07-I see a wasp, scream like a baby, scare kids, Mom yells at me for being stupid.

7:08-Finish second window.

7:09-Realize second window wasn't actually shut all the way. Flood. (Does this count as cleaning the windows from the inside?)

7:10-Matthew and Jonathan scream bloody murder over control of the water hose.

7:11-Mom asks (for the first time) "whose idea was this?"

7:12-Jonathan dumps sand down the back of Matthew's diaper.

7:13-Jonathan in time out. Again.

7:14-I take off Matthew's diaper. Oh snap, there is poop in it. 

7:15-I attempt to spray Matthew down with the water....Oh holy crap, somehow, the poop sloshed out of his booty and onto my leg. GrossGrossGross.

7:16- Mom asks (for the second time) "whose idea was this?"

7:20-Finish third window and call it for the night.

7:21-Spray the boys down....get all the sand out of Matthew's hair and the poop out of his booty. 

7:22-Everybody is clean. Put the fear of God in Jonathan not to touch the water again.

7:23-Matthew body slams himself into the playground mulch. Totally dirty again. (Don't worry, I made sure the leaf covered the important parts....)

7:24-Jonathan sprays water everywhere. 

7:25- Mom asks (for the third time) "whose idea was this?"

7:26- I say, "screw it all!" and take them inside and straight into the bathtub.

7:40-Find mulch under Matthew's neck rolls. 

And that's that. We tried.