Holy Cow

I. Am. Tired.

Yes, I am aware that it doesn't last forever. I know that he will eventually sleep through the night. I already know it gets easier. But none of that helps me after getting 2 hours of disjointed sleep the last few nights. Matthew isn't too big on sleeping alone. He doesn't really see the need to sleep in his room when he could sleep with Mommy or Daddy or Honey, who are nice and warm and cozy. He also doesn't seem to have a digestive track that wants to keep food IN, but instead wants to share it with the entire world. So even if the poor kid does fall asleep on his own, there is about a 90% chance he will throw up and choke or get his jammies and swaddle all wet and gross. And at that point, there is not a chance in the world he will just ignore it and go back to sleep. So if anybody has any advice on how to get him to sleep (soundly) in his room, alone....please share. Unless it is "swaddle, noise maker, incline, The Happiest Baby on the Block, Babywise, co-sleep or car seat".....we have already tried (or are still trying) all of them. But thanks :)

And, sensing the fun that could be had at midnight, Jonathan has decided to join in. Last night he woke up 4 times before midnight. He has a bad cough, so we keep going in to check on him and make sure he hasn't choked or developed a fever. Each time he just stares at me, crying out "Mama sit down!" I think this might be his new way of getting Mommy time. So that's fun.

Other than that, things are going great! Matthew really is a sweet, happy baby. He has already put himself on a pretty good schedule: eat, play, sleep, repeat...every 3 hours. Of course there tends to be more sleeping than playing right now, but that will come later :) Jonathan seems to be pretty cool with having his little brother around. When he comes home from school, he walks in and quickly asks where the baby is. He hasn't quite mastered Matthew's name yet...it comes out a little like "Ma-Mu." It's actually pretty cute. My Mom left yesterday and after a few crying sessions and some insistence to Zack that I absolutely can NOT do this without her, I feel better and more confident. Today is our first day totally on our own....ask me again on Friday how confident I feel :)

The other good news is that I haven't fallen victim to the "baby blues" this time around (at least not yet!) I struggled with this with Jonathan and it kept me from enjoying those first few precious weeks with him. This time around I feel much better and have truly enjoyed my little guy. I think so much of this has to do with my delivery and recovery. Things have been so much better that it allows me the ability to relax and enjoy. Hopefully it continues. Every time I get overwhelmed, I pray for three things: peace, confidence and strength. As long as I have those, I know I am good to go!!