A Letter From the Future....Part 2

Dear Newly Pregnant Katy,

As promised, here are the rest of your important rules and lessons. Now remember, if you chose not to listen to these, that is your own choice....but seeing as we are the same person and what you do pretty much affects me directly, I ask that you take them seriously. This is serious business....stop being selfish and just do what I say.

Love, 32 1/2 Weeks Pregnant Katy.


#14- Like I said, at 31 weeks you will be admitted to the hospital. When you get there (alone because Zack is at his own appointment and Jonathan is with Nana) you will be scared and uncomfortable. You will be thrilled with yourself thinking that you had pre-registered. Too bad logging onto Memorial Herman's website and merely looking at the form doesn't mean you pre-registered. You actually have to fill stuff out and submit it (I know...picky, picky...) please remember to do this around week 26 when the nurse at Dr. Storey's tells you to do it. It will save you lots of time when you are already freaking out.


#15- As soon as Dr. Storey mentions Magnesium Sulfate, you will start to freak out because of the thousands of hours you have spent on Babycenter. According to your "friends" on your birth board, this medicine is the devil and will make you want to die. Don't worry, it's not that bad. You will look like a huge, puffy, bright red tomato, but other than that, it's not too bad. Don't try to rip the IV out of your arm before the "poison" hits you....that will only embarrassing and awkward for everybody involved.


#16- Unfortunately, your little "staycation" happens to fall over the Thanksgiving holiday. Please do not expect the hospital cafeteria to make anything worthy of being a Thanksgiving dinner (doesn't everybody in the world know that sweet potatoes are supposed to be made with all kids of butter, brown sugar and marshmallows?! Duh..) You are lucky because your mother-in-law will make a great dinner (for those jerks not stuck in the hospital) and your sweet husband will bring you a plate of leftovers. This is super nice of them, but it isn't the same as getting it the first go around. Just don't get your hopes up.


#17- As far as dealing with nurses....believe me, you are tempted to be a jerk when they come in every hour ALL NIGHT LONG. You will want to nail your door shut, hide under the bed, figure out a way to fake the monitors into thinking you are hooked up when you really are asleep (hiding under the bed)....but try not to do that. I learned quickly that just being polite and respectful will get you a lot farther. They will bring you extra pillows, smuggle you in Sprites in the middle of the night, not give you the stink eye when you ask for the 18th time where the light switches are....just be nice. No matter what.


#18- This will be a hard one for you. I know you love Dr. Storey and trust her completely. But I promise that every other doctor in the world is not as stupid and incompetent as you think they are. Remember that it is the Thanksgiving holiday and Dr. Storey just won't be available the whole time. The other doctors you see are very nice and most likely didn't get their degree online from a community college in a third world country. The good news is that Dr. Storey is cool enough to come check on you almost every day you are there, including Thanksgiving when she stops by, all dressed up, on her way to her own family celebration.


#19- Once you get home, it will take you negative 10 seconds to realize (surprise!) bedrest stinks. The biggest lesson here is....do not fight it. Zack won't let you roll over without asking "What are you doing!? Why are you moving!?" Your Mom will drive to Houston literally the second you tell her she can and your in-laws will email and call every day asking if you are sitting still. It's just the way it is....there is nothing you can do about it. Turn on the TV, open the computer and get comfy. And stop complaining....turns out there are like millions of women out there who have been on bedrest. Nobody really cares that your back hurts or your feet are puffy or that you feel more stupid with every second that passes.


#20- And most importantly....bedrest works. You will keep that baby cooking for a lot longer being on bedrest and suffering through 80 episodes of "House Hunters" a day, than he would if you were still free and capable of walking around. As of right now, you have successfully stopped pre-term labor, gotten your contractions under control and slowed down dilation. All within a week. That's pretty impressive. Just keep going. I promise, you can do it :)